Hello. May I help you?
Yeah, do you do fat grafting?
I had a tail put on by a Dr. Gordon.
And I want to have some... some fat grafted onto it. I want to thicken it up.
You have some fat where?
Well, I have a tail attached to my spine.
And I wanna... I wanna thicken it up. I want it to be bigger.
Is that... would that be the botox injection? Or would that be the... the fat grafting?
OK, hold on a second.
I don't think you have the right person. Hold on.
OK, no problem.
Thanks for holding. May I help you?
Hi, yeah. I had a tail put on about four years ago.
Attached to my spine and I've got some hair growing on it that I need to get...
Well, come and get rid of it.
That's why I'm calling you.
Can I come in tonight?
Actually you can come in for a consultation. Let me tell you how we work here.
To make sure. First of all, one session is not going to get rid of your hair. That's because hair grows in three phases. All human bodies need at least three sessions of laser treatment. And I say "at least" because if you're talking about let's say your beard, you may need up to eight.
Well, this is my tail.
Right, so then you obviously will need less. But I just want to educate you about, you know, different body parts.
So depending on the amount of hair you have, it will tell you how many sessions you will need. But here is the best part of how we work.
We offer you different types of enrollment. So if, let's say, we quote you a price... let's say, fifty dollars. You can pay as you go, every time you come in, fifty dollars. Or if you pay for three sessions up front, we will give you two complementary sessions. And that's our way of guaranteeing that your hair won't come back simply because we definitely don't want to see you five times for the same area. We try to give you the type of treatment that's gonna be effective. So if we do see you, hopefully it will be for a different body part. Do you need to get the other line?
Umm, no, let's let it go.
I'm fascinated by what you're saying.
OK, so this is what we do here. You come in. You watch a five-minute video, because we like our patients to be astute about what they're getting into.
We do guarantee the lowest price. That the machine we use is the latest technology available in the market today for hair removal. And we basically take a deposit from you because without the deposit we cannot book the time of the machine for your use.
And that's how we work.
Well that sounds great. I see here upper lip is 29 dollars.
Underarm is $39.
Bikini line $49.
Arm $119. How much for a tail?
Umm, it really depends. You know, it really depends. It really...
It's about four feet long.
OK. You're talking about your head, right? Head tail? Or...
No. Tail. No. I have a tail attached to my spine.
A tail attached to your spine? On the lower spine?
OK. And that was because of a surgery?
I see. And uh, OK but you say four feet... four feet is the length of the hair right?
No, it's the length of my tail.
Wow. That's a huge tail.
And uhh you guys just do laser hair removal?
No, actually we do microderm abrasion. We do facial resurfacing. We do... we do body contouring with uhh endermology.
Do you do botox injections?
I'm a semi-amateur bodybuilder.
And weightlifter and I'm...
Then you should do your whole chest.
Your back. Your legs.
Well, I just want... I want my face just to look like, you know, like, like, like terror, you know.
I... I know what you mean.
...behind it. Let me tell you how it works. They take a virus. They beat it up in a hammer. Literally. OK, they make it weak. Then they inject that weak virus into your muscle. Botulism virus causes paralysis, OK? So it basically temporarily paralyzes a muscle. Usually frontalis or facial muscles. Whatever.
Well, here's what happens. The body's normal reaction to an introduction of virus is antibody uhh uhh release. OK? So now antibodies are gonna come out to fight this attenuated virus.
You know, I don't have time for this. I'm... we're wasting time here.
I'm a semi-amateur weightlifter and I've got a competition coming out. And now my, you know. I dunno what the hell I'm gonna do. I look like an idiot. She injected the... the botox into my face and it completely killed my face.
Nicotine & Gravy
Cyanide Breathmint Music
Roger Manning, Jr.